The Unfair Universe

When I was growing up I had many instances when my mother would say, ‘Looks aren’t everything. Try to see the good in people, regardless their physical features’, things like that.

When I hit my teens, the theory found itself in my life. When my first boyfriend, the first guy not related to me, loved me and had affections for me (despite me being an ugly toad then), I was overwhelmed. I was 19 and we adored each other. I also had a close girlfriend, which I confided in, and shared stories with, about the love of my life then. From all the time I spent with my girlfriend talking to her about my boyfriend, it never crossed my mind that this girl was absolutely attractive. It also never crossed my mind that she would use her looks and all the stories I shared with her (about my boyfriend’s likes and dislikes) to get close to my boyfriend. It never also crossed my mind that she would flirt with him, and be the subject of his affection, which she did, which then left my heart broken in many pieces. The trauma I carry even now in my adult life. After that, the theory I wrote in stone.

Now, I tell my nephews the same thing too-‘When you are old enough to look for girls, don’t go after their looks. See what’s in their hearts first’.

And then it struck me-the theory is inaccurate. Not all good looking people are bad. Unfortunately, (for ugly people like me) there are many good looks out there with good hearts to boot. And it’s unfair to judge all the good looking people bad and ugly looking people good. I mean, look at me, I’m ugly and I can’t claim that I am a good person, either. There were un-good things I did.

I don’t know the reason I’m writing this. It just crossed my mind and i decided to record it at my blog, for future reference.

May 15th 2009-Ayu discovered that unfortunately, not all good looking people are bad. They are rare occasions when they are good inside and out. Meaning, I have a lot to worry about (since I’m not good looking inside and out). Meaning, the world is the world is a cruel world.