A Girl in a Cynical World

When I walk, I stumble
And I swear I can hear the pebbles on the street laughing
Just like they did yesterday

When I dance in the sunlight, the rain pays me a visit
And I swear I can hear the sun giggle behind the soggy clouds
Just like it did yesterday

When I sail away to find tranquil, the wave rocks my boat
And I swear I can hear the sea chuckling
Just like it did yesterday

When I say my prayers before my sleep
I swear I can hear the moon whisper ‘Your prayers didn’t reach heaven’
Just like it did yesterday

I go to sleep and hope
That the world will not be as cynical tomorrow
Just like it is today

Aida Rahayu Mahmud
Copyright ©2008 Aida Rahayu Mahmud


Click Here to Read More..

Sunday Mornings and Chocolate Cake

It is her smile that makes her
A smile that then lingers in her eyes
It is on her long hair that the waves run
And her cheeks that the lilies bloom

She smells of summer rain and morning dew
Her struts play with the breeze
Her antics while the time away
The neediness in her eyes
The warmth in her brace
It is her, what pleasure is

The sight, smell, taste and sound of her
Sweep the thoughts to that of heaven

Her playful nature
Relieves and cures
Eases and pleases
Like Sunday mornings and chocolate cake



Aida Rahayu Mahmud
Copyright ©2008 Aida Rahayu Mahmud

Click Here to Read More..

Corporate Keparat

My poor Along is in tears again, thanks to her obnoxious, self-absorbed boss. She was questioned on why she didn’t finish vetting through a document, the next day after she applied an emergency leave because her son was admitted. Obvioulsy the job wasn’t done because she was on leave, and the boss wanted her to know that. The boss wanted her to know that she slipped. But her son was admitted! Gila ke!

And so she came to me nearing to tears and I have nothing to say except just a knowing ‘Uhuh..’ once after 2 or 3 of her sentences, as this is not the first time I hear this infamous story of her boss being selfish.

When our father was on his death bed last year, her boss was constantly on the phone, making it awkward for her and heartbreaking for her and all of us when she has to write down notes or give explanations on things she was not able to do, being out of the office, when everybody else was busy reading Yassin or keeping hush. It also hurts know that sometimes people just do not have respect, let alone care about other’s going-ons. It’s not like she was on vacation, she was just being a good daughter by being by her father’s side when he needed her most. How can anybody take away your right to be at your father’s death bed?

I have no respect for this boss of hers, and I’m feeling I’m not the only one. It hurts to know that people are using her beyond what she can offer. It really does.
Click Here to Read More..

Padang Baldu

Aku terus
Menari dengannya
Dalam hambar jalanan itu
Aku melihat sesuatu
Yang hatiku berkata benar
Yang akalku berkata sangkal

Bukankah itu bintang langit?
Dari mana datangnya ia
Bukankah dari padang baldu
Di atas, bersama bulan?
Apa balasan Tuhan kepadaku
Hingga aku tak mampu
Beza hati dan akal?

Aida Rahayu Mahmud
Copyright ©2008 Aida Rahayu Mahmud

Click Here to Read More..

O Do Not Love Too Long

Sweetheart, do not love too long:
I loved long and long,
And grew to be out of fashion
Like an old song.

All through the years of our youth
Neither could have known
Their own thought from the other's,
We were so much at one.
But O, in a minute she changed -
O do not love too long,
Or you will grow out of fashion
Like an old song.

William Butler Yeats

I keep this one very close to me.

Click Here to Read More..

The Ex Factor

I had a conversation with my ex.

Yes, he got married, that robbed away our right to be an item, but it didn't rob away our friendship. I realized that only recently. We started as friends, and in the course of our relationship, we learned that we were each other's best friend. And through the break-up I surrendered to many nights of mourn because I had lost my best friend. Now, after nearly 2 years of him being married, I find him where he was before-in 'The Best Friend' seat.

Maybe it's in the way he addresses my problems, maybe it's in his way of saying things, and maybe it's just the sound of his voice that I find very comforting. But that's what he does, he comforts me, in ways I don't think even he knows. And comfort, I believe, is what a best friend is for.

I remember how my girlfriends (God bless them) talked me out of thinking about him (or their attempts to) and how they put him in 'The Bad Guy' spotlight when he 'decided' to marry someone else. I understand they were concerned. I understand they wanted to show they were concerned. So I excused their mocking and name-callings and voodoo spells on my ex, as I thought that's the way, the typical way of the female species in showing care for their 'injured' member of species. I appreciated all their efforts, the name-callings as well, but deep down inside, I knew they didn't understand, or at least see it the way I do. I was mourning for the loss of a friend, not the loss of a 'boyfriend'. I too, didn't realize it if the break-up didn't happen.

So last Friday saw the day when I found comfort again. I had a conversation with my ex, and I told him everything that has bothered me recently. And as usual, he put a spell on me. He listened to every detail and told me things I already know, things I have told myself a million times before. But when he says it, he makes them valid.

There’s a love between us, a bond that not even time can erase. He was my friend and I thank God, he still is; although he might not be there with me to hold my hand, at least I know he would if he could. There are places in my soul that nobody can reach, but him. And I feel it is going to stay that way for a long, long time.

Click Here to Read More..

Mister God, This Is Anna

There’s always this pleasure you find when interacting with a child. Their honesty is welcoming and curiousness refreshing. This book tells its story about a little girl called Anna and her faith in God; and her gift of love for those who are near to her.

With the background of East End London in the mid-1930s, ‘Mister God, This is Anna’ is about a 5 ½ year old girl who keeps God near to her in everything she does. She questions every being and believes that everything has a reason in happening. Her words are always of affection for God, whom she calls Mister God, as a sign of respect for her Creator. I admire her ability to find pleasure in the smallest of events and of course, her candour.

Again, a book for those who cannot stop whining about how life is unfair. Recommended for lazy nights in and breezy Sunday afternoons.

Click Here to Read More..