Hey You! Yes, I Know What I'm Saying..

Story 1:

A girl has a 'relationship' with a colleague for 10 years. She's married, has 3 children. He's single. He was the 'love' she found after she got engaged, but cannot pursue him as marriage was very near. So they continued. For 10 bloody years. They say it's love. To me it's just cowardliness and mere idiocy. They think they have a valid reason. They are wrong. They are just blind and selfish. They do not have the guts to make a decision. They think they are different. They are wrong.

Story 2:

He got engaged, still in love with a another girl. He said he was having difficulty getting over her. Then he got married, but the affair didn't end. He said he misses her, that she reminds him of what his wife is not. He texts, he calls, he emails. They reminisce. She says 'You shouldn't have gotten married, we would be perfect for each other'. So they meet up, feeling wonderful, feeling that this should have been. This is right, destiny is wrong.

They are ignorant. They are cowards claiming to be heroes. They think they are fighting fire when it was them who started it. People around them are laughing, thinking why do they think they're in love? They are ignorant. They think they are different. They are wrong.

Story 3:

The Girl stands there, still, claiming herself as the warrior of love. 'I stand, I love. No matter if you have children, I stand, I love.' The wind blows, The Wife curses The Girl, but she still stands. 'The Wife should take it easy', she says.

The Girl thinks: God has put The Girl in this situation, not that she wanted to be in it. She was forced, it was destiny. She is okay with polygamy but why the hell doesn't The Wife understand?

'Why did she put me through pain? All I did was follow my heart. I stand, I love. Nobody else would want me, nobody else will do. My situation is different. I am different. I have reasons. Valid reasons. Who are you to say my reasons are not valid? It is valid because I SAY SO. It is destiny to be blamed, not me. I didn't choose to fall in love. Just let me be in pain, oh let me cry..that will show you how big of a person I am. I am right, because I am the one suffering, I am the one in pain, so you should be on my side. I HAVE REASONS. The Wife should take it easy. I am ok with sharing, why shouldn't she be ok with it? She is fighting destiny, she has anger against me, why? Why?'

'I am different. Other girls have affairs with people's husbands because they are sluts. I'm not a slut. I'm different. This is a different case altogether. I am special. I am rare. I don't intend to. I am not a bad, selfish, cruel person.'

You always think you are different. You are wrong. And yes, you're a slut.
Click Here to Read More..

The Past Should Just Stay There

I really do not like to remember my years of living when I was teenager. Everything that reminds me of it-movies, friends, locations and even mere mentions of anything from those years make me sad and sometimes cringe.

I viewed my life then as a big, black hole, I lived for the moment, didn’t take anything with me to remember. I guess that explains why I don’t remember most of my high school friends, things that happened. I also didn’t of course remember the ‘joy’ of being a teenager, if there was any that I experienced.

I heard a song recently, one I haven’t heard since I was 16 maybe and I felt sucked back into that black hole that I don’t like to be associated with anymore.

The main reason for this is the passing of my mother and how I never managed to get over it. Also, I was being a student as well as being a teenager with the responsibilities of an adult. I was never good at either of these. I disappointed myself and my family and really, it’s stress that I didn’t have to deal with, being so young at the time. I realized that only now.

I don’t know whether I was being hard on myself or maybe I was supposed to be better. I felt like I had feet too small.

But now I know the shoes were too big. How I wish I can go back and tell myself I’m ok, there’s nothing wrong with me. Create priceless memories. Love yourself. Love your friends your family.

I don’t like what I’ve been through and it’s a constant struggle for me to get over it.

Click Here to Read More..

Babyface - Mad Sexy Cool

Click Here to Read More..

Kuwe Appam

The conversation with my darling nephew at a Ramadhan Bazaar recently went like this:

Me : What did you buy?
Zhn : Kuih ice-cream
Me : No, that's not kuih ice-cream
Zhn : (Long pause and looked at his kuih apam in the plastic bag) Kuih colourful!
Me : No, nama dia kuih apam
Zhn : What? Kuih appa?
Me : No, kuih aaaaapaaaammmmm

Hearing that, Zhn laughed his ass off, repeatedly saying 'Kuwe appam! hahahha'
That was the first time he heard the word 'apam' and he couldn't get over the word.
This went on throughout the night. He would play with his brother and then suddenly would blurt out 'Kuwe appamm..hahahaha' like saying 'That's a weird name for a kuih. Even I can come out with better names like kuih ice-cream and kuih colourful'


Click Here to Read More..

What Ramadhan Brings 2

Ramadhan has always been a tough month for us since Mama and Papa passed away. We miss them more than usual during this month and just the thought of them can bring me to tears, just like right now.


Today marks 3 years since Papa slipped into a coma. I was in the hospital alone with him.

We miss both of you.

Al-Fatihah to Mahmud bin Simin & Hayati binti Ariffin


Click Here to Read More..

Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love w/ lyrics ( NEW SENSATION :)

Click Here to Read More..

Random Ramblings 4

I’m stupidly in love.

A photo of him? Smirk.

A photo of him in a crowd? Smirk and think ‘He’s mine!’

A thought of him while driving? Smirk, and suddenly the song on the radio is about him.

I’m screwed.

------------

I hate myself for not being able to contain my anger, especially with my nephews. I lose my temper with my nephews too many times, especially when they refuse to shower or behave or just keep quiet.

One day when my sister was in the UK, visiting the Queen, suddenly the kids don’t bother me too much. In fact, I felt closer to them and was very protective of them. When the maid scolded them, I would back them up. I also didn’t mind the noise they made and tantrums they threw.

Somehow knowing that my sister was far away made me want them to know that they have me, and that they can rely on me. I was surprised over how I felt and reacted towards them. I realized that I really do love them despite their constant misbehaviours and drama. (Boys are sooooooooo hard to take care of.)

So yeah, my maternal instincts are kickin’ in. :P

------------

The latest addition to my workplace family is this guy who I despise, a lot. He smokes a lot, hence he has a pungent cigarette smells that sticks to your nose the whole day, has a terrible attitude and is always avoiding workload.

We hated him the first day he came in, when he said, ‘I didn’t really want this job. Someone sent in my resume to this company, a friend of a friend. I didn’t apply’.

When my colleagues and I are discussing about, say, a TV publication which our company wants to participate in, he’d say, ‘I have experience in that field, bla bla’. When we talk about events coming up which we have to organize, he would say, ‘I know what to do'. He has said a lot of things-things that we didn’t ask for. We find him annoying because of that and have since piled up on anger towards him for just being bloody annoying. We got angrier when we finally realized that all those ‘experience’ he boastfully admitted of having, are all LIES. He can’t do ANYTHING.

But among the many things he has said, there was one thing he said that has formally crowned him as a moron.

He was walking beside my boss one day after a meeting. A salesgirl passed by and waved at my boss, whom she has known before. My boss waved back-and so did he. Surprised, my boss asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘No’, he said. ‘But I thought she was waving at me so I waved back’.
‘She waved at me lah, why you so perasan?’ my boss said.
It was obvious that the statement didn’t have any effect on him as he bluntly continued, ‘Why aren’t there girls like that in our department?’, while still holding his gaze upon the girl. My boss, shocked and annoyed shot back. ‘What do you mean by that?’ which made him finally shut up.

He is still able to be a moron everyday, always having something new to trigger our anger. Sometimes we wonder whether he has an annoyance scale he has to hit everyday, or someone from our past sent him to us just to make us pay for our former sins.

Whatever it is, it’s driving us nuts.

Click Here to Read More..